Dear You,
If you have heard about Perfect; whether you have read the book, intend to do so, or simply feel touched by the subject at hand, then here is where the thread begins…
If my words struck a chord, or if you just want to find out a little more; if you feel like sharing your thoughts, telling your story, or reaching out for help. Then here is your space…
My book is about a poisonous disease, but it is also spells fears that no doubt sting all of us at one point in our lives. My book is about how it really feels inside, beneath the superficial tags and beyond what is apparent. Above all, this book is about hope; it is about learning to accept yourself for who you are and remembering what really counts; and it is about the life-saving strength that can ever be drawn from acts of love, always.
Please be in touch.
It may take a few days, but I always aim to reply to each message, individually, by email – giving you your own space.
58 comments
Comments feed for this article
June 10, 2008 at 10:01 am
Maggi
I couldn’t put this book down. Perfect is beautifully written and very moving. I am certain that this book will help many people affected by anarexia but will also touch a far greater audience than just those who have a connection to this illness. Well done Emily on an absolutely wonderful book x
June 10, 2008 at 10:38 am
Emma
emily. i could not put this book down. each word is from experience and the heart. i thought it was a lovely touch to allow those closest to you to write their little passage at the end. in some aspects i related to your words completely but i think even those not connected to the illness in any sense would find your book well worth reading.
you should be very proud of yourself-not just for your book.
thank you x
June 10, 2008 at 10:38 am
Carrie Ann
Thank you for this book Emily. I could relate to what you were saying, although not to the same extent, and it really helped me understand what my friends and family had been through. The last chapter in particular really touched me and I was in tears a few times! Congratulations.x
June 10, 2008 at 10:39 am
Kristen
i have just finished your book and thought it was abousltly amazing.
i have anorexia and am just beginning the recovery stage a few days ago. and its been such a struggle so far i feel i cannot go on any further.
but your book has inspired me and your kind words and gone deep within.
i am glad i read this book and read it within 2days of getting it.
it has really made me see nd think into what my family have gone through and how this disease has affected them too.
thank you.
please be in touch it would be such a big help if you could.
but keep strong in the future and you will succeed.
much love
xo
June 10, 2008 at 10:39 am
Emily
Dear Kristen,
I would love to be in touch with you and offer as much support as I possibly can. I am in the process of setting up a separate email account for this sole purpose, this way we can communicate outside of the blog page if you (or anyone else) prefer. Do let me know?
In the meantime, keep strong, think of all the happy things that will come with getting better, feel proud for having taken the step forward and never beat yourself up if you happen sometimes to stall along the way. You have made the decision to heal, and so healing will follow. I promise.
xxooxx
June 10, 2008 at 10:39 am
Emily
Dear All,
Thank you so, so much for your messages. They mean a huge amount to me and give me hope that somehow my book will have made some kind of a difference, no matter how small; and that will have made it all worthwhile.
Please, please, if you know anyone who may in any way be touched by PERFECT, please pass on the word.
Thank you, again and again xoxo
June 10, 2008 at 10:40 am
Carolyn
I have been reading your book with my mum, and we were both surprised at the similarities between your story and our own. I am still trying to find my way out of anorexia, and would really really appreciate it if I could talk to you about your experiences, and the ups and downs in your recovery. I think it would help alot to talk to someone who has been in the same situation as me. I hope you are still doing well, and that things are a lot better than they used to be. I can’t wait for that day to come for me! Look forward to hearing from you!
xxx
June 10, 2008 at 10:40 am
Emily
Dear Carolyn,
Please please do email me and be in touch. I would love to be of any help and while I cannot promise to have all (if any) the answers to your questions, I can guarantee at least to offer you genuine sympathy, understanding and the promise that you are not alone.
I am going to set up a private email address for these more personal exchanges, and I wil post it tomorrow.
Finally, if your mum needs someone to talk to, I know my mother would be more than happy to be there for her too.
I wish you smiles and hopefully a peaceful night.
xxx Em
July 2, 2008 at 8:41 am
Amy
Dear Emily
I recently read your book as research for a project I am doing in RE about anorexia and I thought it was utterly amazing. I have read books in the past about anorexia and they just seemed really clinical and distant in they way they were written but I was struck by how personal your writing is and how much you let us into your thoughts and situation, I think it’s a very brave thing to do.
I have what psychologists like to call “an unhealthy relationship with food”, I have never been diagnosed with an eating disorder but I think it’s likely that I do have one, or will develop one. By saying that I dont want you to think that I WANT to have an eating disorder, or that I am trying to mirror having one, I am just trying to keep an open mind. As I write this there is a girl using the computer next to me who is eating crisps and it’s making me feel uncomfortable and rather ill and it’s that kind of thing and also what I think about myself that makes an ED a possibility I think.
I would love to talk to you more about your experience and hear your thoughts on my situation, perhaps some of your ideas will be helpful for my RE project?
No pressure though, it’s just a thought.
I hope you are well and happy and continue to be so.
Yours
Amy xXx
July 4, 2008 at 7:02 pm
- salud
Congrats from one ecolint alumn to another!
July 18, 2008 at 12:11 am
T
I am in awe as how you managed to transform these familiar feelings into perfect, flowing, articulate sentences. Your recounting of your experience was raw in its openness and pure honesty.
You know where you grew up? I’m growing up here. Ecolint? My life too.
I feel like we have a connection…well anybody who has undergone this experience does, but even more so when you lived in the same city and went to the same school. My life is measured in numbers. As is my happiness.
I am on the brink of relapsing, I had recently found a way to enjoy food again, and be normal, albeit gaining 5 kg, but now I feel lost, empty and numb. Your book reduced me to tears. You are amazing, and you are so brave.
July 21, 2008 at 11:29 am
Clem
Dear Emily,
I picked up your book on the way back from visiting my Grandmother and could not put it down. I finished Oxford this year with an appalling degree class thanks to anorexia and am now in a vacuum of threats and tears from parents, boyfriend and friends. I have photocopied Sam’s words at the end for my boyfriend who has suffered far too much. Your book is beautiful and it struck the strongest chord within me. I know there is a problem but from you I know there can be a solution. Thank you x
July 27, 2008 at 4:46 pm
louise
i have just finished reading your book, and i admire your courage. its almost strange for me to say that, as i feel more than ever in the depths of anorexia, and im not all too sure i want, or can recover. I could particularly relate to the struggles anorexia brought you with your boyfriend. I havent been as fortunate, and i have managed to isolate myself from just about everyone i know, ive created a bubble, protected from everyone, dictated by routine and control.
Despite this, your book brought a glimmer of hope, that maybe one day things will somehow change, and ill reach out and grab that glimmer. I feel your book will make a difference to many. It would be lovely to hear from you.
All the best, x
August 5, 2008 at 3:49 pm
louise
hi again, im not sure if i got an email from you that i havent been able to read, as i accidentally deleted it in my inbox before i could open it!!! Sorry. x
August 12, 2008 at 10:50 am
Ashley ferguson
Dear Emily
I have only just finshed your book about 5 mins ago. I can understand some of your emotion although i am not coming from the anorexic side of it but the ghost that is always apon you that wants you to join them again deep down inside the pit of hell , the place that you have been figthing so long. Its really powerful to see that though writing your story it helps others who may not be going or have been where you are but no what it is like to scream stop and just ask someone to help.
Really proud of what you have done to help many to come
Love Ash xx
August 16, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Becky
I love this book.
It is written in a way people can understand. I found out about “Perfect” after reading an article in my mum’s magazine. A few people i know have been affected by this cancer of the soul, and i wanted to read a real persons story of how they coped. I found it.
It’s amazing how you’re using your own story to help others. You truly are an inspiration.
Becky xxx
August 18, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Becky
http://flickr.com/photos/minka/2775122820/
xxxx
August 28, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Chelle
I’ve just read your book, and have put a post-it note highlighting all the letters in the back – one for my mother to read, one for my father to read. Of course, that means sending the book between countries, but it is so worth it.
Thank you for finding a way to write about this that makes people able to understand it, and putting into words what I could never hope to. Unlike you, I battle to articulate any emotions, and always sound as though I’m giving a formal presentation when I do, but this is perfect. What really struck me is your strength and determination, and how I could read it and think “Look, that little fighter in there can win, this god-awful voice in me doesn’t have to control everything!”.
I was recently diagnosed with anorexia, after fooling them once and managing to dodge any medical examinations, and escaping the system completely another time through cancelling appointments and such. After three years, I find myself thinking that I’m 17, I have my entire life ahead of me, and this is the proof of what I can accomplish. I can reach out to others, and help them, just as you have done me, and so others. Thank you for being such an inspiration.
September 17, 2008 at 3:23 pm
laura
i’m half way through reading your book and its like reading my life everything you say is exactly like me.your book is giving me hope that one day i’ll be able to follow my dream in becoming a ballet dancer at 25 i really want my life back after suffering for 9 yrs from this horrid illness.i’ts not easy but you’ve given me hope.if you have any extra advice i’d love to here from you.thankyou for making a great book big hugs laura
September 21, 2008 at 9:39 pm
jen
I am much older than you but am in the midst of ana-thank you for helping me to feel that I’m not alone in the way I feel.
September 22, 2008 at 8:47 pm
Chelle
I have commented before, but I’ve returned to thank you once again.
My mother left my younger sister and I at home for a week while she was out the country, and during that, I abused her trust, and felt awful. I sunk to new lows, and it was particularly painful when I came back and my mother hugged me, and said “I hoped there’d be more to you.” It’s difficult describing to her what this is like, and I’m trying to persuade her to read the book, but she’s finding it far too difficult to cope at the moment with all the stress.
So, in light of this, I decided to read it again for myself. I put myself in the shoes of every perspective the letters came from, and felt their pain and support. I photocopied the piece about recovery being difficult, stuck it in a book I take everywhere with me, and if I have difficult getting down my intended meal, I will take it out and read it time and again.
Also, reading others messages on here makes it feel as though I’m not alone, and that – I think – is sometimes what we need most. I fear for my sister leaving in the shadow of her older sister’s pains, and it’s now for her I’m doing this.
Sorry for such a large post, and congradulations once again for your engagement! I wish you two all the best =)
October 21, 2008 at 11:45 am
Anna Renwick
Dear Emily
I have just finished reading your book. It was fantastic but almost slightly eary as so much ringed true to me and so much was so so similar to my experiences. I have never, until now, come across somebody who has written a book on the ’subject’ which I have felt in touch with, where I have felt they understand my head (and perhaps helped me understand my head!), where I do not feel a freak, where I can feel almost reassured that it is an actual illness and not what many others may think. I have suffered from anorexia for 19 years but I am now proud to say that I am well on the road to recovery having attained a better weight and having a more logic mental process ( infact the two came hand in hand). I have also had many up and downs but hopefully each up brings a stronger person.
I do so so so hope that you are still doing well, a smile is firmly present and your eyes are sparkling. I have never met you but I know you are a wonderful person who deserves to be happy and free.
Stay happy, enjoy life and keep laughing.
Big hugs and lots of smiles,
Anna
xxx
November 3, 2008 at 2:30 pm
abby
Dear emily,
I read your book last week and found it to be one of the best books out there on this subject. I have suffered with eating disorders for 10 years mainly anorexia and always felt that the only people who can truly understand are the ones who have suffered themselves! So in writing your book you gave me comfort and took away some of feelings of being alone that anorexia brings! I liked the fact that you acknoledged that gaining weight does not magically cure the disease in your mind! so many people think if you put on weight you are instantly cured!For me everyday is a battle of feelings! And the guilty feelings and wanting of perfection you spoke of are exactly how i feel. I just wanted to thankyou for letting people like me know that we are not alone. A fantastic book, well done, best wishes for the future, hope you are planning to write a second?! abby x x
November 5, 2008 at 3:45 pm
jo
Dear Emily,
I read your book a while ago and it really touched me. I was in a different place to where I am now so I was thinking about the suggestions you put at the back for further reading in relation to healthy eating. My own book has somehow gone missing but would be grateful if you could remind me of one of books you suggested?
Many Thanks
Jo x
November 14, 2008 at 6:59 pm
vickie
hi emily,
i just wanted to say i loved your book and i think you are an inspiration for beating this and getting on with your life. you are a beautiful girl and you will go so far
i wish i had yur will and strength, after suffering for 11 years, i am still entrenched but you have given me some hope. i would love to hear from you, if you can.
love, happiness, for always…
Vickie x
December 16, 2008 at 10:12 am
Robert
Hi Emily,
Having just read your book, I just thought that I would thank you for writing such an inspirational, positive and lucid account of recovering from anorexia. Over the last year I have been in an inpatient unit undergoing ‘intensive re-feeding’ treatment, recently being discharged. One of the main issues I have struggled with through the process is feeling separate and different from other people, like I am intrinsically broken or flawed.
However, reading your book, and also recently becoming a Beat young ambassador, (Beat being the national charity for eating disorders), I have come to realise how similar many other people’s experiences and feelings have been to my own, with your own perspective being particularly resonant.
Thank you for helping to clarify the myths and misconceptions which surround eating disorders, and I will be sure to pass on the details of your book to other young people I know who are currently in recovery.
If you ever feel that you would like to, I’m absolutely sure that Beat would be more than happy to work with you in helping people to recover, as well as prevent eating disorders.
Take care, and Best wishes,
Robert Sayce xxx
January 4, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Francesca
Dear Emily
Thank you for your book and for your page. I am in the midst of struggling with anorexia. I have been for the past few years, but things really are at a head right now. I have just discovered your book and am in the middle of reading it. It really is like reading my life. I would really appreciate it if you could give the details of anyone I could get in touch with who helped you or who you could recommend to help me out of this hole. I really need to get my head round this problem.
Thank you and the very warmest of congratulations on your wedding.
F
January 15, 2009 at 2:30 am
Sophie
Dear Emily,
Inspirational and well written book…
so much hope filled my heart as i got to the end…
i was slowly slipping for 2 weeks i have been reaching out for a hand, and
it seems you were that hand.
i hope i can now try hard again, because it is not a life.
sadly no one hears me and i am still waiting for a referal, so i have made the first step.
i hope i can hold on a little further.
thank you again Emily.
Sophie x
January 15, 2009 at 2:37 am
Sophie
Hertfordshire, do you know it?.
its such a long story of me trying to get help, its been 2 years… and not just for the anorexia, people just dont seem to believe me.
i have been reaching out.
The one thing about your book that helped was i wasnt triggered by it at all it was just so helpful.
x sophie
p.s not sure if i was ment to send back to that email address
January 22, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Susie
dear emily,
i reserved your book and got it sent to my local library. i needed some time out today, so headed into town to the M and S cafe with the book.
just before i left i placed the book in th top of my bag face up, the woman next to me watched me place the book there and obviously caught sight of the title. she looked at the book, then at me with kind but sad almost pitying eyes.
As if to say ” Try and eat a little, you’re not going to find a solution in paper” but not in a judgemental way.
i have’t finished it yet (probably by tonight or tomorrow) but it really is like reading about myself, as i’m sure many others have found too.
thank you for sharing your story.
xx
January 30, 2009 at 9:41 pm
stephanie Schultze
Hello
My name is Stephanie Schultze and I am in the process of
getting my masters in art therapy and marriage and family therapy at asmall school 1 hour south of san francisco. I am currently beginning my thesis on the topic of art therapy and eating disorders. I want to put my feelers out there to see how many authors of autobiographies/ memoirs (of eating disorders) would be wiling to participate?
I am extremely interested in your story as it, and others like
it, have helped me through my own recovery.
The thesis is looking at the therapeutic value of first writing ones story of their own struggle with an eating disorder (as you have done) and then creating of a piece of artwork reflecting this story/your journey. The artwork would have no limitations of size or materials and by no means must be an amazing piece of work. The creation of this piece is more about the process and therapeutic experience, than the product. It can take 5 minutes or 5 days, whatever feels right to you. After creating this piece I would ask you to answer some open ended questions about your experience.
This project is still in the works and wouldn’t begin for at least a
few months, yet I am just attempting to see how many people would be interested?
I am really drawn to all the memoirs and autobiographies that tell such personal, deep and amazing stories of those that have suffered from this challenging and gripping disease. Maybe it is because I have suffered myself that I find these books so amazing. All I know is that I am in awe that authors, such as yourself, have such courage and strength to put such personal experiences on paper for all to see.
While in recovery myself I felt drawn to books (such as yours), unable to put them down. I felt so connected reading about how others were going through exactly the same things that I was.
I have always found a combination of art and writing to be most
helpful for me and I was curious to find out if others may share the same opinion.
Let me know if you have any interest in participating!
Thanks
Stephanie Schultze
stefranski1@gmail.com
February 11, 2009 at 10:07 am
Leanne
Emily,
Thank you so much for Perfect. Your words struck a chord with just about every part of me, it was like looking in a mirror in so many ways.
I am in recovery from anorexia and whilst I am determined that this time- as oppossed to every other attempt over the past few years- it will really be it I am still so scared and unsure.
Now that I am out of that immediate danger zone which seems to so spur me on to take action I feel myself once again wanting to take my foot off the accelorator if you know what I mean? It’s sick but it’s like as much as I want a life without anorexia part of me just won’t let go.
Please if you could offer any words of advice on how you coped when recovery seemed like too much of a big step I would be so grateful.
Thanks
Leanne
February 12, 2009 at 11:03 am
v
Thanks so much for your book – reading it as a mum was so enlightening and helpful in gaining an understanding into how a person with this disease thinks and views the world, therefore guiding me hopefully to giving positive support. A brilliant idea to ask your family and friends to give their side of the story – this gives such a good all round picture.
Thanks a lot and all the best
February 25, 2009 at 9:25 pm
Fleur
Dear Emily,
I have just finished reading ‘Perfect’ and felt it to be such an inspiring and moving account of your struggles and triumphs. And so beautifully written! Thank you so much for sharing your story, I’m sure it will be a great help to many, those searching to better understand the disease and those seeking comfort. I would be very interested to talk more with you via email if this is a possibility?
Thank you
March 8, 2009 at 11:45 am
Kay
Dear Emily,
I have just finished reading “Perfect” (it took me 2 days – couldn’t put it down). I suffered from anorexia from the ages of 11 to 14. I relapsed at the age of 28. I am now 38, and although to look at me today you would never say I once suffered from anorexia, it has never left me. I still have such an unhealthy relationship with food (which I still see it as The Enemy). My metabolism seems to have been permanently damaged after years of starving myself and I have a constant battle with my weight, even though I do not eat more than “normal people”. Your book has inspired me to get expert help, as you did – to consult with Nutritionists and specialist doctors and to try and develop healthy eating habits and undo some of the damage I have done to my body over the years.
I also just wanted to tell you how lucky you are – to have had such loving and supportive people around you who were unjudgemental and were able to separate “Cruella” from the girl they loved. In particular, your parents, and “your Sam”. When I got anorexia in 1981, it was still a very “new” disease and very little was known about it. My parents (normally so loving) reacted with anger (which actually stemmed from ignorance and fear) and threatened to put me into Tara (an institution for people with mental disorders) if I didn’t “pull myself together”. I had to “get better” all by myself, with no expert intervention. I have never actually “got better” – just put on the weight that everyone wanted me to. My mind is still that of an anorexic. Reading your book has made me realise I don’t have to do it all by myself – there is help out there, and I intend to finally get some!
Thank you for a wonderfully inspiring book!
xxxxxxx
March 9, 2009 at 5:14 pm
sarah
Emily
It was such a relief and joy to read your amazing book.
Once i started reading it it was so like what we have been living through for the last three years.
My daughter who is 16 is now in the most incredible inpatient unit and is battling cruella with all her will and is so desperate to beat it for good.
She, like you were ,is encouraged and supported by all her family she knows she is loved and has so many hopes and dreams.
I just wish as she does that she had a Sam!She has to believe she will one day when the time is right
I am so proud of her.
Iread your book this weekend and have now sent it to her to read and told her to pass it around for all to read .
I will tell the staff at the unit how beautifully it was written and i cannot imagine anyone who has personal experience or not would not benefit from reading it
One thing i have found is the isolation and lack of understanding this dreadfull illness causes.
You have given me hope and I will keep believing we will get our beautifull , loving daugter back soon.
Do you have a more private email as I would love to talk more about how i could help to make my daughters recovery as “smooth”as possible
Thankyou for having the courage and amazing ability to write such a wonderful book
Please do get in touch
Sarah
March 13, 2009 at 9:22 am
Maryam
Dear Emily,
I’m reading your book and I still didnt finish it. It is one of the best books I have ever read. very honest and true.
but I have a question.
When you were 40 kg how tall were you?
cause I dont know if I am considered as anorexic or not.
Thank you very much for the great book, it is helping me alot.
XOXO
March 22, 2009 at 12:44 am
Clare
I started reading your book yesterday and am already half way through. I can’t put it down.
I started my fight against this disease at the beginning of the year and I can’t describe how much it has helped to read your words and realise that I am not alone in feeling those feelings. It has given me a huge amount of hope that I too can recover and learn to live again.
I will definitely pass this on to my mum to read, so that she can understand what is going on inside my head better. As you are far better at explaining it than I could ever hope to be. It has also given me the courage to talk about more personal feelings with her that I have tried to hide before.
Thank you so much for writing this book.
March 23, 2009 at 9:21 pm
Lucy
Emily, I have just finished reading Perfect. What can I say? I have been utterly moved by your story. As everyone else has been saying, the book has been beautifully written and has actually made me understand my own Anorexia a little better! Your book has inspired me to continue with my recovery and motivates me when I’m having my ‘off’ days. Perfect reminds me that I am not the only one going through this crappy disease.
My mother has agreed to begin reading your book tonight. I really think it will help her in the understanding of Anorexia Nervosa (she hasn’t been the most supportive mother to say the least).
Thank you SO much Emily for writing this truly inspiring book. Keep battling Cruella, stay strong and be happy! Remember that YOU are the first person that needs to love you. Take care (:
Lucy xx
March 26, 2009 at 10:38 pm
Lynne
Hello Emily,
ive just finished reading your book, i havent been able to put it down since buying it yesterday, from opening it and reading the first page i was able to relate to it so much, for so long now ive been thinking all these thoughts and feelings i have are so wrong, but to hear someone else say what im thinking makes me believe that maybe my thoughts aren’t so wrong after all. i’m trying to recover but at the moment have more days when i dont have the motivation or energy to fight this and so believe i wont be able to. By reading your story i cant believe how strong you are, there is so much i would like to ask you, if you have a private email and wouldnt mind talking to me i would be so grateful. thank you for your time and for your story.
March 30, 2009 at 4:13 am
Helen
Dear Emily,
It is 5am and I have just finished your book. Words just cannot describe how grateful I am to you for sharing your journey, and for putting so eloquently the exact feelings, emotions and compulsions I am struggling to describe and acknowledge.
Thank you so much, your words have filled me with a renewed inspiration, a determination to get better, a reassurance that I am not alone in my doubts regarding the effectiveness of the sole emphasis that medical teams put on simply gaining weight. Reaching a healthy weight, without addressing the emotions behind this disorder, has only served to fill me with an almost unbearable amount of stress and confusion.
You have renewed my faith in working through therapy to try and overcome this disordered way of thinking, and starting tomorrow that is exactly what I am going to do. Thank you so much, your book has given me the courage I need to take that first step again.
April 7, 2009 at 11:31 am
mary george
Hi Emily – we’d love to receive a review copy of your book. Is this possible?
Best wishes
Mary George
Press Officer
beat
103 Prince of Wales Road
Norwich NR1 1DW
April 13, 2009 at 11:09 pm
Joanne
I fianlly found the courage to finish reading your book earlier, it has changed my mind so much. I’m currently attempting recovery for the 2nd time (on my own as my DR refuses to help me get professional help) and have struggled a lot. The way you describe ana is so honest and hits the right spot, its made me realise i’m not alone and she cannot win.
I’ve recommended the book to my close family and friends who struggle to keep things as normal as possible when they are around me.
Now I need to do my best to fight her. Before i lose the people I love.
Keep strong!
April 15, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Emily M
“When you sense a faint potential for happiness after such dark times, you must grab on to the ankles of that happiness and not let go until it drags you face-first out of the dirt…”
Hello Emily!
I have recently come out of hospital after a very “dark time” and am desperately holding “on to the ankles” of recovery for dear life but finding myself a bit stationary “face-first” in the dirt! I haven’t even read your book yet and already feel touched by it! I am eagerly awaiting it’s arrival having ordered it a few days ago and judging by the previous comments, it’s worth the wait! I read an earlier thread that mentioned a separate email for some advice etc and was wondering if that was still going? I’d so appreciate any words that could help me come up for air, feeling a little bit strangled here.
Best Wishes, I think what your doing is incredible!
Emily xxx
May 23, 2009 at 6:41 pm
Holly
Emily
I have just devoured your book in a few hours – so many words rang true for me as I read that I had to finish it all in one go. I don’t know how my own journey will pan out, but it is always encouraging to know that other people have been on this road (or, at least one that looks very similar) and have come out the other end.
Thank you for putting pen to paper.
May 24, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Nicola
Dear Emily,
I have just finished reading “Perfect”. I found it a very well-written and reflective account of your experience with anorexia. As a person who has suffered from the disease and therefore appreciates how hard it is to come to terms with it, I admired the way in which you faced the illness head on and seemed to make efforts at every stage to overcome it. Probably one of the most interesting parts of the book was the last chapter in which your friends and family share their own experience of living with the disease. Olivia’s account in particular was raw and heart-renting. I truly hope your friendship can be fully rebuilt- she obviously cared a lot about you, but felt utterly trapped by it. I remember meeting an old friend who had been fairly close to me during my illness, in a pub a few years after I had recovered from anorexia and hearing the way in which it had indirectly affected her through me. I was surprised to find the extent to which my illness had impacted her –how it left her utterly helpless and afraid that my life was in her hands. The disease had alienated me to a degree where I was unable to view its impact on those who were not immediately close to me. Another concept that intrigued me in the book was the personification of the disease, “Cruella” – this seemed to function as a way of objectifying the disease and therefore separating it from you as an important discerning step in fighting the disease. I wondered how you accounted for “Cruella” when you interacted with others, especially those who may not understand the illness. Did you feel responsible for her actions and how did you separate these from your own? Finally the description of your family life was an eye-opener – as I read the opening chapters, I thought “This is exactly the type of life I would want to create for my children”, but your account showed that even in the most idyllic of families anorexia can still emerge and for me personally this corrected my view that if I just made everything excessively secure and protected, I can avoid my children developing the disease.
Thank you for sharing you story and wishing you the very best for the future, Nicola
May 25, 2009 at 7:14 pm
Elizabeth
Emily
I read you book last summer when I first tried to help myself get ‘better’. Now, nearly a year later, I am finally turning the corner and eating for me. I struggle with the thought that I won’t be able to stop – when is eating going to become too much? I know I can’t stop yet – or possibly for a long time. This is the hardest thing so far, trying to be normal and wanting it more than anything else, to have everyone else react normally to me and food and eating again. Mostly I just want to know when things start to go back to normal! I’d LOVE to wake up one day and have my arms and legs back instead of the emaciated, sticks that I see every day. Thank you for your story, it has motivated and inspired me to be ‘me’ again.
June 6, 2009 at 2:58 pm
Katie Broke
I found this book in my school library and decided to read it. A good friend’s older sister was recently diagnosed with anorexia and for the first few months her condition improved dramatically. Then she platoed at a level just below a healthy standard of vitamins, blood-sugar and weight. Like you, she has a parent who is a doctor, except for her it is her mum. Everyone close to the family and her are being seriously affected by her anorexia. Some people started to complain that it was ridiculous that she could not get much better. Your book really helped me to understand some of the emotions that her and her family might be experiencing, and the best ways in which to offer my support.
Your book was amazingly written and an inspiring story. I hope you lead a happy life and continue to be succesful in your, what i know must be very difficult, battle against your disease.
June 20, 2009 at 4:49 pm
Chelle
It takes me a lot to express what I feel, but I think I’ve done it – I’m still going through recovery, but I’ve reached the point where I know that I can do it. Finally.
I’ve written it down – every step of my journey, and before. Could you please ask me how I could get this published? From experience I know there are FAR too many people who still misunderstand this terrible condition, and want to get the word out as much as I can.
June 30, 2009 at 9:52 pm
44specs
Dear Emily,
I purchased your book today and I’m currently about three-quarters of my way through it. I just wanted to thank you for sharing your experiences with this and I commend you on the courage you have shown throughout this illness.
Again, thank you for sharing!
And – congratulations on your engagement
July 1, 2009 at 11:39 am
iindefinite
your book gives hope, even to people who have none to begin with – like me
I owe you the shred of hope , I now have in me
and a mere thank you
will be an underestimation of what i now feel
July 9, 2009 at 10:52 am
margaret
emily,
how blessed i feel to have come across your book at the time i needed it the most. there are so many things in the book that i can relate to, especially your letters to natasha. I have used the book to read parts out to my husband so that he can try to understand how i am feeling. I start my counselling tomorrow. Your book has given me courage and inspiration.
wishing you all the best of luck for the future emily.
x
August 3, 2009 at 2:04 pm
cate
Dear Emily,
Having recently been diagnosed with anorexia and bi-polar disorder, I found myself plunged into a gloomy, unfamiliar state of uncertainty – like a black hole with no clear way out. My mum bought me your amazing book, initially after reading a review. After reading some extracts and recognising some firightening similarities between your case and my current behaviour she passed the book onto me. My mother has always been my rock, from the beginning its always been her and I together and together, throughout my life, we have faced everything. Something changed in my mother as my illness took hold – she changed, our whole relationship began to disintegrate and the on person I had relied on throughout my youth wasn’t able to cope. Since that rough patch before my acceptance of the illness, my mother has also sought help, and, like yours, she has got her smile back. We are stronger than ever and she encourages me to be brave everyday. Your inspirational story always gives me hope and for that, I thank you. I still have a long way to go. I have accepted what I have just been referred for proffessional help. I am one month exactly from my 18th birthday and have so much yet to do – I want to finish my A levels, go to Cambridge and spend my last golden year of college with my friends, and I will do it, for myself, mostly for my mum, because now, I know I am not alone, I’m not weird, I AM in control of my future – I have hope. xxxxxxxxxxxxx
August 11, 2009 at 5:53 pm
Fern Ciolek
emily, your book is am azing i am currently suffering with this diesease and when i read your book i totally related to it and you, i felt that i could have written it, your story is true to mine, thank you for writing this book you are an inspiration xx
August 24, 2009 at 10:09 am
Lizzie
Dearest Emily,
I have just finished reading your story, although like many sufferers who have read ‘Perfect’ i feel it could be ‘our’ story. I say that in the sense that when you read your story, you become so connected with it, you are all too familiar with the same distorted thoughts and feelings, both positive and negative. I saw a little bit of myself not so much in you, but in your suffering. What you wrote was done so in such a professional, emotive and informative way – like you had a tape recorder permanently running in your mind throughout your struggles. Your book was not triggering in any way, and i think that what helped was that you didn’t talk about your height/weight (except on one occasion) becuase we all know how ‘competitive’ eating disorders make us become. What also made this book so positive was your constant desire to move forward. That i think is my biggest struggle in recovery, i feel the need to be worse before i am ‘allowed’ to get better if thast makes sense???
I am so greatful to you for telling your story because it is so inspirational
September 5, 2009 at 10:46 am
Kate Fisher
Hi Emily,
I read your book earlier this year and its the only one I have come across that describes this illness so accurately and elegantly – thankyou. I am currently at rock bottom having had this problem for 18 years; I came out of hospital a few months ago but am heading back there again. A few things you have said really resound with me and I jave a few questions I would like to ask you about if you could email me.
By the way, congratulations on your engagement!!!
Regards, Kate
October 19, 2009 at 7:33 pm
Louisa
I have just finished your book having read it as a Mum who is watching her wonderful daughter being caught up in this destructive illness. So far she is not clincially anorexic as her BMI is Ok but she has had no periods for many months and her behaviour patterns are changing dramatically – do I go along with them and ‘collude’ or do I challenge and create a barrier between us? She is aware of the changes and acknowledges her situation but appears overtaken by ‘Cruella’. She is hoping for a referral to a nearby clinic to help her before she is dragged down even further. Your account is inspiring and I long to share it with her but she is not (yet) displaying many of the experiences you write about and I am so frightened of giving her more ideas to follow – would we be able to ‘talk’ more, please? I see her fear and know I will never fully understand what it is like for her but then again she will not fully understand what it is like for her mum – I am terrified for her……
Thank you so much for sharing your experience – you have given me the courage to face this more and I cling onto to need to be patient at all costs – thank you
November 14, 2009 at 6:40 pm
Kyleigh
Hello Emily(:
I have not read your book yet, because it’s not available at my library ): I suffer from anorexia and bulimia, although not diagnosed by a doctor, my family and i both know i have a serious problem. I was wondering, how did you decide you wanted to get better? For me, i hate it at times, but i still keep this up, i don’t want to stop..i don’t want to go back you know? Also, about your thoughts on pro-ana if you have heard about it? I can’t seem to find someone to talk to, i thought you would be worth it(: I was just wondering about your thoughts, and if you ever miss this obsession… Hearing from someone who someone who i can honestly relate to will help a great deal. Thankyou, best wishes!
xoxo
Kyleigh